Of Love and Taking Chances
by youreconfusingme
Summary: Stella is leaving New York. Should Mac tell her?


****DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters of CSI: NY****

**Of Love and Taking Chances**

Mac Taylor tossed and turned in bed. His mind could not rest, despite the serene Manhattan evening and the cool breeze that flowed through his apartment windows.

_I have to tell her._

_No, you really shouldn't, _his conscience responded.

_But if I lose this chance, I don't know if I'll ever get one again._

_Are you willing to take the risk? _His conscience asked.

_Am I willing? _Mac turned this question over in his head, the one that had plagued him for months now. _Stella is leaving _tomorrow, _for God's sake! I _have _to tell her!_

With this final resolution, Mac finally drifted off to sleep.

* * *

The new day brought a sunny morning with it. Mac anxiously fixed his coat and re-arranged the flowers he had with him for the hundredth time.

It was time to accompany Stella to the airport.

Mac had run over all the possibilities of how she might react if he told her. The worst, he concluded, was if he damaged their friendship beyond repair. But he knew that he also won't be able to live with himself if he put this off any longer.

_Buzz. _He rang her apartment doorbell.

He shifted from one foot to another in his increasing anxiety.

"Mac!" Stella smiled as she opened the door. "You're a bit early. Come on in!"

Mac followed her into the apartment he knew like the back of his hand. How many nights had he spent here with her, with their friends for parties and little catching up? He had lost count.

But in the few seconds when he and Stella walked through her apartment, Mac's thoughts and senses went into overdrive. How was it possible that they had been friends for years, but had never looked at each other more than that?

_Why now, when I barely have the chance to be with her? _Mac thought somewhat bitterly.

Stella was probably the most remarkable woman Mac knew after his late wife Claire. Not even his past girlfriends can compare to her intelligence _and _her beauty. He could have punched himself for not looking at her twice all those years.

Somehow, the sudden threat of separation forced Mac to face the feelings that he had tried to put off for so long.

He knew only one thing: he cared for Stella more than he ever cared for any other woman.

"Have a sit," Stella said casually.

Mac looked around the living room. "Uh, where?" he laughed.

Stella looked at him and glanced around her crowded living room. She smacked her head and laughed. "Oh, gosh, Mac, I am so sorry. I didn't realize how cramped this room is. Everything is just going by so fast!" She finally collapsed on the low table in the middle of the room and took a huge breath.

"It's all right," Mac smiled as he sat down beside her. "Here," he handed her the flowers. They were small and simple, only a few pieces, but special since he asked his green-thumbed neighbor to grow them for Stella.

"Thank you," Stella beamed as she accepted them. "These are gorgeous."

"So how are you feeling?" He had not gotten the chance to ask her much about her big move.

"Honestly? I have mixed feelings about the move. It's like I still haven't come to terms with it—with the packing, and the flight, having a new home, new friends, new everything. I don't even have any expectations yet aside from not being in New York tomorrow," she confessed.

"Do you really want this?" He knew what her answer would be.

"Yes. I do. I want to experience something new. Have a fresh start."

Mac's heart dropped to his stomach. His mind became more frenzied. _How should I tell her?!_

"What about your life here? Your friends? Why do you want to…leave everything behind?" This was another question that had drummed in his mind ever since Stella announced her resignation.

She responded thoughtfully, "I don't want to leave you all behind. It's actually…I _know_ I need a fresh start. So much has happened here in Manhattan. Good and bad. I feel like I've already exhausted it. It's time to give myself room to grow."

"I see."

Then suddenly, Mac knew what he should do.

"Stella." She looked at him expectantly. He noticed that her eyes were shining brighter than usual.

"I think I've fallen in love with you."

Stella stared at him for a long time. She opened her mouth to say something, and then closed it again. Her eyebrows knitted slightly in confusion.

"Did I hear you right? You said you think you've fallen in love with me."

"Yes." Mac began to grow nervous again. He didn't exactly know what he expected, but he felt like he didn't do a very good job of getting his message across.

_Did I come out too strong? Did she think I was impertinent?_

"But you and I, we've never been more than best friends and colleagues. Why now?"

"Because I realized that even just the thought of being apart from you permanently is unthinkable. I care about you, Stella. I care a lot."

"Oh, Mac. I honestly don't know what to say to that."

Mac kept silent. He had done it now. He had put the barrier between himself and Stella.

But she startled him when she rested her head on his shoulder, the way she had always done so when she needed his comfort. Mac relaxed a bit.

Stella finally spoke. "I love you, Mac. More than any other man. I used to think, and I still do now, that no man I'll ever date will compare to you. But I guess that I've never admitted to feeling anything more than a best friend should for you."

Not knowing how to tread the waters, Mac continued his silence. Stella lifted her head and looked at him. "But I _am _leaving, Mac. In a couple of hours I'll be in another city, and you'll stay here. How are we going to work on that?"

Mac did a double take. "'How are we going to work on that'?" he repeated unthinkingly. "You mean you're considering the possibility of…us?"

Stella laughed slightly. "Why ever not? We had this coming. We just didn't consider it then."

He stared a little longer at her and then laughed heartily. Mac felt as if a great burden had been lifted off his chest. He hugged Stella tightly and kissed her temple.

"We'll figure something out. Right now, it's already more than enough for me to know you are mine."

"As you are mine." Stella smiled. _Finally._

* * *

**A/N: I'm back! I haven't written anything in a looong time. I'm really happy to have my Muse back for this one-shot piece. It was inspired by John Mayer's "Heartbreak Warfare".**

**I'm a believer of long-distance relationship. When you love someone and you're committed to that person, distance is not a major issue. Please leave a review! :) **


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